You know that famous breakup line, you’ve seen it in movies countless times, maybe someone said that to you, maybe you said it to someone. You want to spare the other person’s feelings and don’t want to tell them “I don’t like you” or” this relationship is not what I want”, so you say: “it’s not you, it’s me”. “It’s the wrong time for me”, “I am not in a good place”, “I just have too much going on”, “you are wonderful, it is my fault”.

Women do the same thing when it comes to their health. They will go on an impossible diet and when that doesn’t work they’ll say “it’s me, I didn’t do it right, I failed, it’s my fault”. They will set up unrealistic goals and when they can’t achieve them they’ll say: “I don’t have enough will power, I lack discipline, I am terrible”. They Will follow the current health guru, ignore their body’s signals and when they can’t beat their body into that mold they’ll say: “my body betrays me, it refuses to cooperate, it’s me, I’m failing again and again.” They won’t get the support they need and when things get hard they’ll say: “I can’t do it, what is wrong with me?”

I am here to tell you: “It’s not you.”


I cannot say that enough. It’s not you, it’s “them”.

It’s the false promises, it’s the sneaky selling techniques, it’s the sabotage that is built into the health and diet industry so you will come back again and again for more of the same thing that didn’t work.

Here are a few examples:

• Supermarket psychological manipulation is to play soft or happy music so you’ll want to stay there longer and buy more, have the bakery smells distributed through the vents so wherever you are you will smell the cookies and having candy at child’s eye level to encourage candy tantrums.
• Weight loss programs teach you in a hidden or not so hidden way that without their rules you will go completely out of control and that you cannot trust yourself so you will need to depend on them for life.
• Health experts and book authors tell you there is one way to eat and/or live that is the “right” way and everything else is wrong. Many dietary systems feel very rigid and don’t take into account our changing needs.

You deserve a medal for trying. You have been trying hard for years. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, if those systems were doable, you would have succeeded already. The fact that you think it’s you and not them is part of the scheme. There is a systematic intention to make you feel small, untrustworthy, helpless, defeated and bad about yourself. If you were truly empowered you would not fall for the lies and misinformation. I am so glad to see more and more women waking up to the truth.

And here is the truth:

• You are smart, brilliant, capable and powerful.
• You are beautiful and attractive, now, just the way you are.
• You are good, your body is good and it knows how to heal and thrive.
• You can trust your body. It knows the way to health and it will tell you if you practice listening.
• There is no one way of eating, moving or living that works for everyone or even for you. You might need to eat differently on Wednesday than you did on Monday. The exercise you did in your 20s might not work at your 50s. Your lifestyle choices need to be looked at, re-evaluated and changed as you change.
• You are the number one expert when it comes to you, your body and your health.
• You deserve to have guidance and support, you don’t need to struggle alone.

What would your life be like if you knew these truths deep down?
What will you do differently if you lived as if you believed the truth and didn’t believe the lies?

I invite you to reflect on those questions and write about them in your journal. Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

xoxo Rachel

P.S. You are invited to join The Women Health Circle, we will start meeting in the fall. Allow yourself to have the guidance, community and support you need to heal and thrive.